A Serbian Film [aka Srpski Film]

Written and Directed by:  Srdjan Spasojevic

Starring:  Srdjan Todorovic, Sergej Trifunovic, Jelena Gavrilovic



Wow, where to begin.  How about the fact that this movie can't even be found by searching through IMDb.  You must search for it in Google, then link over to the IMDb page.  It might be a coincidence that this movie is hard to find, or it very well could be on purpose.  This is not a movie for the faint of heart or for those with a weak stomach.  That being said, I did everyone a favor by watching this highly talked about film by myself a few weeks ago.  I probably shouldn't be telling anyone about this movie since it is so insane and immoral.  Its also one of those movies that once you've seen it, it truly can't be unseen.  You have been warned.



Something isn't right with
this Sam Rockwell clone.

A Serbian Film is about a retired pornstar, Milos (played by Srdjan Todorovic), who is offered a once-in-a-lifetime role in an upcoming porn film.  Curious, he meets with the director of the film (Sergej Trifunovic), who promises him a fortune to do the role since he was known for being the one true 'artist' in the porn industry.  Milos is trying to start his life over with his new wife and son, but is suffering financially.  He reluctantly accepts the role in the film, even though the director has purposely left him in the dark about the films premise.  All he knows is that it is going to be a revolutionary new 'artistic' form of pornography, and that the actors mustn't know anything about it in order to get purest reactions and emotions.  After a few days, camera crews start following him around and leading him to unknown destinations where he must act natural and go with the flow.  Unfortunately, the flow takes him to do unthinkable acts against everything he believes in.  Once he gets into the game, he quickly learns there is no getting out and these gruesome acts only get worse until the ridiculous finale.

Sound intriguing?  Well, it did to me which is why I tried hard to seek this movie out.  I've heard nothing but crazy things about this movie, and I had to find out myself if it was worth all the hype.  Even today, I'm on the fence whether or not I liked it.  It deserves respect for getting to me so much, but at the same time, the word 'respect' shouldn't be anywhere near this movie.  It pretty much left me speechless, and I'm rarely affected by movies.

Believe it or not, this movie is actually very well done.  Putting the plot aside for a moment, the director does a fantastic job leading up to the action and keeps you on the edge of your seat nearly the whole time.  The production quality is top notch, so it was definitely not made out of someones basement.  Everything about the film was absolutely how a movie should be made.... except for the rubber dicks and insane subject matter of course.

Many viewers will want to turn it off once you get to the scene where we are introduced to "Newborn Porn," but I insist to keep your fingers off the stop button.  Even Milos is heavily put off by this scene, and it comes to show that he is actually a human being like the rest of us.  While he is driven to do unspeakable things, you have compassion for him and are very invested in his well-being. He does a great job in this film and like I've said many times before, acting is a top priority for any movie to succeed.

A Serbian Film contains graphic violence and nudity from all parties, male and female, so definitely don't let any kids watch this movie.  Come to think of it, don't let anyone see this unless they are a die hard fan of the genre and aren't easily offended.  It is as bad as people say it is, but its also as good as people say it is.  I don't know if I should even recommend this movie or not because of its extreme content.  I say, if you are curious and can actually find this film somewhere, give it a chance.  Otherwise, stay far far away from it.  Its an over-the-top shock fest that definitely won't make a good Viagra commercial.  It won't leave your head for a very long time, if ever.  I don't want to be the one responsible if you see this and are forever scarred.  Therefore, tread carefully.  However, if you can make it all the way through, you probably can't see anything worse.  I haven't.



Total Score:  5/10
Buckets:  3/5

Preview can be seen here.  Shocker: there is an adult content warning.

Machete

Written and Directed by:  Robert Rodriguez
Starring:  Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Jeff Fahey, DeNiro, Seagal, Lohan....


Its been a while since I've seen a splatter film in theaters, and what better movie to see than Machete?   I remember seeing Grindhouse in theaters and loving the fake trailer for this film (and all the other trailers as well).  Luckily, I wasn't the only one who found it to be hilarious.  Robert Rodriguez also recognized the potential and made what everyone was hoping for... a feature-length bloodbath. 

Assuming everyone knows what this is about, I'll be quick describing this Mexploitation gem.  It dives straight in the action, delivering what most fans would want in the first 5 minutes:  laughs, extreme violence, and nudity (in that order).  Token Mexican (aka Danny Trejo) finally plays a big role as a betrayed ex-Federale who seeks revenge on the man who killed his family (Steven Seagal).  Looking for work, he is hired by a man (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate a senator going for re-election (Bobby DeNiro), but it turns out he is being framed to strengthen DeNiro's campaign on border control.  Meanwhile, Michelle Rodriguez is a leader of an underground network trying to help illegal immigrants start a new life, while Jessica Alba breathes down both of their necks as an US Immigration and Customs agent.  As expected, the plot takes a backseat to the action here.  Most of the scenes leading up to the big finale drag a bit and seem tacked on just so it can be excused as a real movie.  But we all know audiences didn't see this to hear about border control or any other political issues. 

Looks like someone f*d with
the wrong Mexican

 The star-studded cast does exactly as needed.  Robert DeNiro is great in a change-of-pace role as the slimy Texas senator, Lindsay Lohan expertly plays herself as a drug addicted rich girl, Shea Whigham (from Splinter) is great as the right hand man to Jeff Fahey, who I thought had the best performance of the bunch.  Cheech Marin was typical Cheech here, a shotgun toting Priest playing Machete's brother (How many movies have a character like that in it?).  Rounding out the big names are Don Johnson (oddly playing Von Jackson) and Steven Seagal (strangely cast as the evil Mexican drug lord). 

Regarding Jessica Alba's performance, you won't be disappointed.  Never known for her acting ability, it actually wasn't as distractingly bad as usual.  However, she was not cast to play the best federal agent possible.  Her best asset is on full display when she's working out on her lunch break.  Lets just say that her Wii Fitness was a good purchase.

She's not the only one showing off her body in this movie.  Michelle Rodriguez gives Alba a run for her money as the hottest actress in the film, plus the naked Eva Mendes look-alike at the beginning isn't too bad on the eyes either.  Those three definitely make up for Mr. Trejo, who might be one of the ugliest men on earth.  Lucky for him, it doesn't stop him from hooking up with all of them... oh the magic of movies.

I did not enjoy everything about this movie.  In fact, there are a few minor things I'd like to point out that sort of bothered me.  First of all, whenever there was a death scene (and there were many), there were always frames missing just before the kill to right after it happens.  I understand its hard to film a big action scene in one take and have limbs fly off and bullet holes riddle bodies seamlessly.  It just got a little annoying when those precious few milliseconds are being cut out over and over again leaving us with just the aftermath.  Minor gripe I know, but it sort of ruins the flow of the scenes in my opinion.  Another thing I noticed is that Rodriguez tried to incorporate too many scenes of the fake preview into the movie.  99.99% of the time I'd prefer this, but in this case it just seemed like some of those scenes didn't quite fit into the movie and were obviously stuck in.  Lastly, the fact that almost every principal character dies at least once in the movie and comes back to life seemed a bit overused.  In some cases I'm glad they came back.  In others, their second life seemed pointless except to add another notch to the body count. 

Other than those slight missteps, Robert Rodriguez made himself a highly enjoyable flick I'd easily recommend to anyone looking for a good time.  With a resume of Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, Planet Terror, and now Machete, RR has solidified his place as the master of dirty, bloody, old-school looking action films.  As always with a Rodriguez film, the music is also great which makes the film even more enjoyable.  The action is cut at a breakneck pace, buckets of blood hit the walls and floor, dialogue is wonderfully corny, and the actresses are as hot as ever.  What else do you need out of a movie at the end of a weak summer? 


Total Score:  7/10
Buckets:  4/5

From Within

Directed by:  Phedon Papamichael
Starring:  Elizabeth Rice, Thomas Dekker, Kelly Blatz, Adam Goldberg, Margo Harshman, Rumer Willis


Every year the After Dark Horrorfest releases their "8 Films to Die For."  To me, that usually means 8 films to skip.  However, after hearing some positive reviews on a movie called From Within, I figured it wouldn't hurt to check it out and give it a chance.  The only movies in the 4 different Horrorfests that I have enjoyed have been Borderland and, most notably, Frontier(s).  It should be noted that Frontier(s) was too violent to be shown in theaters as part of Horrorfest II, so it was released separately in theaters, and then as part of the Horrorfest DVDs.  No wonder I liked it way more than the others.  It also contains one of the best kill scenes in horror history. 

Anyways, back to the movie at hand here.  From Within does not rely on blood and gore like the other films I've mentioned.  While it does contain several death scenes, many of which are satisfying, there is not a ton of on-screen blood being spilt.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, contrary to popular belief.  The story was well told, although it seemed to drag just a little, and the acting was believable.  The latter is definitely a 'must' when considering a horror movie to be enjoyable. 

The 1 film worth watching

From Within starts off strong with a suicide of a teenage boy, then moves quickly to blood-soaked Rumer Willis running down a street and hiding out at her father's clothing store.  On a side note, it is amazing how close Rumer's eyes and nose resemble her mother Demi.  Unfortunately for her, the rest of her head and body looks like John McClane.  Moving on... her part is not long lived and we move straight to the main character, Lindsay (Elizabeth Rice).  It seems that everyone around her is mysteriously committing suicide, and no one is safe.  Her boyfriend (Kelly Blatz) is the crazed son of the local pastor, whose family has turned the entire town against the outcast Aiden (played by the emo, pretty boy Thomas Dekker).  Aiden's family has been known to practice witchcraft in the past, so naturally all the Christian townsfolk blame him for the apparent suicides that are suddenly occurring. 

The story is pretty original, even though at times it felt like I was watching a spin-off of The Ring.  Luckily, this movie is much better, even with a fraction of the budget.  For the most part, the characters never do anything too stupid and I never felt like they could have easily avoided death.  A la Final Destination, if it was their turn to die, there was no escaping it. 

Overall, the direction was terrific.  There were a few memorable camera shots and death scenes, and the actors all did a believable job in their disturbed teenager roles.  Margo Harshman turns in a great, but limited performance as Aiden's cousin.  Funnyman Adam Goldberg (Saving Private Ryan) plays the redneck boyfriend effortlessly, and Elizabeth Rice is the cute little girl you can easily root for.  There really isn't much I can say about this movie that isn't good, without nitpicking too much.  While not being amazing, its a solid all-around film I can easily recommend to spend an evening watching.  The movie starts off with a bang (literally), and the body count rarely slows down.  Besides the fact the movie limps a little bit up to the big finish, the reward is worth the wait.  While I figured it was coming, I still enjoyed how it actually played out, especially after credits started rolling.  How many times can you say that about a movie?


Total Score:  6/10
Buckets:  2/5